There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet Ukulele tab

	  Em 
 Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman. 
    C 
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed. 
    G 
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it. 
C                           B7 
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and... 

Em                                     D  
 Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman. 
    G                                  C  
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed. 
    Am                                B 
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it. 
C                            D  
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and... 

            Em                                            Am  
When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes 
      C          B7                Em  
Whoa, everything goes according to plan. 

C                    B                    Em        G 
I am the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it. 
            G  
Because you say so under your breath. 
                B7 
You're reading lips "when did he get at all confident?" 
C            B       Em            G 
Haven't you heard that i'm the new cancer? 
 G                  B7                       B C B C 
Never looked better, and you can't stand it 

Em 
 Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and 
 C 
I bet you just can't keep up (keep up) with these fashionistas, and 
G 
 Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign. 
C                                  B7  
 I bet to them your name is "cheap", I bet to them you look like shit. 

Em                      D 
 Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears. 
         G                      C 
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!" 
 Am                       B                    C  
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table, 
             D            C     B    B7     
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin. 

I am the new cancer, never looked better... 
Haven't you heard that i'm the new cancer?... 

(Em  D  G  C  C  B Em) 2x 

Em            D        G             C   
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer? 
                    B         Em 
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it     2x 

        Em                       D                        G                          C 
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up. 
                         B                                  Em 
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when i spike the punch. 3x