Delaneys Donkey Ukulele tab

	  (If you want to play along to original recording transpose down 1 tone to Bb) 

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Now, Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired 
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Temporarily lazy and permanently tired 
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A leg at every corner balancing his head 
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And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed. 
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Riley, slyly said "we've underrated it 
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Why not train it?" then they took a rag 
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They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it 
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Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag: 
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There was Riley pushing it, shoving it, shushing it 
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Hogan, Logan and everyone in town 
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Lined up attacking it, n'shoving it and smacking it 
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They might as well a'tried to push the Town Hall down. 
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The donkey was eyeing them, openly defying them 
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Winking, blinking and twisting out of place, 
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Riley reversing it, everybody cursing it 
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The day Delaney's donkey ran the half mile race. 
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The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch 
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They couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch 
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Delaney lay exhausted hanging 'round his throat 
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With a grip just like a Scotsman on a five pound note. 
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Starter Carter, he lined it with the rest of 'em 
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When it saw them it was willing then 
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It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of 'em 
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They started off to cheer it but it changed it's mind again! 
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And there was Riley pushing it, shoving it, shushing it 
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Hogan, Logan and Mary-Ann McGrath 
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She started poking it and grabbing it and choking it 
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It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed hee-haw! 
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The Whigs and Conservatives, the Radical Superlatives 
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Liberals and Tories they hurried to the place 
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Stood there in unity, helping the community 
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The day Delaney's donkey ran the half mile race. 
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The crowd began to cheer it and Rafferty the judge 
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He came up to assist 'em but still it wouldn't budge 
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And the jockey who was riding it, little John McGee 
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Was so thoroughly disgusted that he went and had his tea! 
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Hagan, Fagan were students of psychology 
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Swore they'd shift him with some dynamite 
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They bought it, brought it, and without apology 
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The donkey gave a sneeze and blew the whole lot outa sight. 
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And there was Riley pushing it, shoving it, shushing it 
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Hogan, Logan and all the bally crew 
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Police and Auxiliary, the Garrison Artillery 
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The Second Enniskillen's and the Life Guards too. 
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They seized it n'harried it, they picked it up and carried it 
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Cheered it, steered it to the winning place. 
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Then the bookmaker's drew aside, and they all committed suicide 
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The day Delaney's donkey won the half mile race!