The Farmer Ukulele tab

	  The Bilge Pumps - The Farmer 
 
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There was an old farmer who lived by a rock 
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He sat in the meadow a shaking is fist 
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At some boys who were down by the crick 
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Their feet in the water their hands on their marbles 
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And play things and in days of yore 
There came a young lady she looked like a  
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Pretty young creature she sat on the grass 
She pulled up her dresses and showed us her  
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Ruffles and laces laughed like a duck 
She said she was learning a new way to  
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Bring up her children and learn them to knit 
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling 
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Refuse and litter from yesterday?s hunt 
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her 
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Eyes at the fellas like girls sometimes do 
To make it clear that she wanted to  
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Go for a nice pleasant stroll on the grass 
Then hurry back home for a nice piece of 
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Ice cream and cake that was three layers tall 
And after desert she was ready to 
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Go for another walk down by the dock 
With any young man with the sizable 
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Roll of one hundreds and a big bulge up front 
If he?d asked politely she?d show him her   
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Little pet dog who was subject to fits 
And maybe she?d let him grab hold of her 
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Small tender hands with a movement so quick 
Then she?d bend on over and suck on his 
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Soda so sweetly till she finished it 
Then pulled down her panties to rub on her 
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Hip that she bruised when she ran down the hall 
Cause he tried to force her to lick on his 
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Candy so tasty made of butter scotch  
And then he spread whip cream all over her 
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Cookies that she had been baking all night 
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If you think this is dirty you?re fucking damn right. 
 
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