Twisted - I Steal Everything Teclado

	       F                Dm 
Want food, but got no money? 
     Eb                     G 
I'm screwed, or so it would seem 
           Am        Dm                  G 
That's why I came up with this brilliant scheme 
C 
Just steal everything! 

(spoken) 
F 
Alright, monkey, let's feast! 

MONKEY, spoken 
Yeah, yeah! 

ALADDIN, spoken 
Bb              Am7 
Ugh. Raisins. I hate raisins. 
            D7 
Hey, little orphan kids, you guys hungry? 
G7 
Want some bread? 

ORPHAN KID, spoken 

We do, sir. 

ALADDIN, spoken 

Fetch, you fucks! 

(Sung) 
    F7                 Dm7 
For real, I'm not that picky 
     Bb7                 B7 
I'll steal whatever's in sight 
 A7           D7                    G7 
Don't judge, 'cause you don't understand my plight 

ORPHAN KID, spoken 

Hey, my crutch! 

ALADDIN, sung 

It's mine now, loser 
C 
 I steal everything 

CITIZEN, spoken 

F7                       F 
Bread! Bread for sale! Reasonably priced for these hard times! 

ALADDIN, spoken 

Ah, hey there, friendo! 

CITIZEN, spoken 
Dm              Eb 
Not you again! Please, you—you just stole a 
                            B7 
 loaf of bread from me this morning! 

ALADDIN, spoken 
                                         Am 
Yeah, and you gotta stop putting raisins in it, man. 
  Dm 
I hate raisins. 
Gm 
I was talkin' to Monkey about it, and he thinks 
          C    N.C. 
we should just kill you! 
N.C. 
But I was like, no, Monkey, that's crazy! 
N.C. 
But now I'm kinda thinking... yeah. 
                          N.C.   F 
...No more fucking raisins. 

(Sung) 
        F7                        Eb7 
Did you know in this barbaric country 
          Bb7                   Db7 
They only give you money if you work? 
G7                     C7 
Thanks, but no thanks, the man 
                   D7 
I'll keep stealing all I can, 
  Bb7                             C7 
Instead of being a fascist yuppie jerk 

CITIZENS 
F 
Hippie! 
Eb 
Fucker! 
A 
Slacker! 

ALADDIN 
D 
Sucker! 
Gm7               C7 
Who would seek employment 
          D7            Gm 
When life offers such enjoyment? 
Eb                            Db 
Anything I get, I can get for free 
C                      G 
Besides, the economy's shit 
     F 
So I make haste when making exits 
    Bb                B7 
Get chased by a murderous mob 
A7      Dm                     G7 
Hey man, still beats getting a job 

(spoken) 
     C7 
Am I right? 

OLDER WOMAN, spoken 

F7                          Bb 
Getting in trouble a little early today, aren't we Aladdin? 

ALADDIN, spoken 
Bb7                               F7 
You're only in trouble if you get caught. 

WOMAN, spoken 
F7 
Aladdin? 

ALADDIN, spoken 
N.C. 
I'm in trouble 

WOMAN, spoken 
F7 
After that night we spent together, my 
Dm7 
belly grows big with child. 
Eb7 
My father says that you must marry me 
                             B7 
 now, or I'll bring dishonor to my entire family. 

ALADDIN, spoken 
                        F 
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah 
                                      Dm 
I can't give up on my dreams and settle down 

 just because your dad's being a dick. 
Gm                      G7 
Besides, if I do marry, I want it to be for love. 

WOMAN, spoken 

Oh, Aladdin... I understand. 

ALADDIN, spoken 

You're such a special girl, Jezebel. 

WOMAN, spoken 

Who's Jezebel?! 

ALADDIN, spoken 
                C 
Uh oh - Busted! 

WOMAN, sung 
F 
Asshole! 

ALADDIN 
Eb 
Oh, wow. 

WOMAN'S FATHER 
A 
Douchebag! 

ALADDIN 
D 
Hey now! 
Gm                  C 
Just one question, why, man? 

WOMAN'S FATHER 
           D                   Gm 
'Cause you stole my daughter's hymen! 

ALADDIN 
    N.C. 
That's completely fair, but in my defense, 
                           C 
Dude, your daughter's hot. 
F 
 I feel that it's my duty 
    Eb                       B 
 to steal, 'cause stealing's an art 
           Am 
I'll steal clothing and shelter, whatever I lack 
Bb 
Candy from babies, the shirt off your back! 

G 
Credit, identities, thunder, and scenes 
C 
Intellectual property, whatever that means. 
A              D 
And if you'll look closer, 
     G 
This poor little orphan 
          C        F 
will steal your heart!