Southern California Wants To Be Western New York Teclado

	  
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There's a part of the country could drop off tomorrow in an earthquake, 
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Yeah, it's out there on the cutting edge, the people move, the sidewalks shake. 
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And there's another part of the country with a land that gently creaks and thuds, 
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Where the heavy snows make faucets leak in bathrooms with free-standing tubs. 
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They're in houses that are haunted, the with kids who lie awake and think about 
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All the generations past who used to use that dripping sink. 


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And sometimes one place wants to slip into the other just to see 
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What it's like to trade its demons for the restless ghost of Mrs. Ogilvey, 
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She used to pick the mint from her front yard to dress the Sunday pork, 
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Sometimes southern California wants to be western New York. 

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It wants to have a family business in sheet metal or power tools, 
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It wants to have a diner where the coffee tastes like diesel fuel, 
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And it wants to find the glory of a town they say has hit the skids, 
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And it wants to have a snow day that will turn its parents into kids, 
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And it's embarrassed, but it's lusting after a SUNY student with mousy brown hair who is 
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Taking out the compost, making coffee in long underwear. 


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And southern California says to save a place, I'll meet you there, 
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And it tried to pack up its Miata, all it could fit was a prayer, 
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Sometimes the stakes are bogus, sometimes the fast lane hits a fork, 
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Sometimes southern California wants to be western New York. 



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Tempe, Arizona thinks the Everglades are greener and wetter, 
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And Washington, D.C. thinks that Atlanta integrated better, 
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But I think that southern California has more pain that we can say, 
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'Cause it wants to travel back in time, but it just can't leave L.A. 

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But now I hear they've got a theme park planned, designed to make you gasp and say, 
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Oh, I bet that crumbling mill town was a booming mill town in its day, 
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And the old investors scoff at this, but the young ones hope they'll take a chance, 
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And they promise it will make more dough than Mickey Mouse in northern France, 
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And the planners planned an opening day, a town historian will host, 
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And the waitresses look like waitresses who want to leave for the west coast. 


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And they'll have puttering on rainy weekends, autumn days that make you feel sad, 
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They'll have hundred y